Scripture Text (NRSV)
Proverbs 31:10-31
31:10 A capable wife who can find? She is far more precious than
jewels.
31:11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack
of gain.
31:12 She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
31:13 She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.
31:14 She is like the ships of the merchant, she brings her food from
far away.
31:15 She rises while it is still night and provides food for her
household and tasks for her servant girls.
31:16 She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands
she plants a vineyard.
31:17 She girds herself with strength, and makes her arms strong.
31:18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does
not go out at night.
31:19 She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the
spindle.
31:20 She opens her hand to the poor, and reaches out her hands to the
needy.
31:21 She is not afraid for her household when it snows, for all her
household are clothed in crimson.
31:22 She makes herself coverings; her clothing is fine linen and
purple.
31:23 Her husband is known in the city gates, taking his seat among
the elders of the land.
31:24 She makes linen garments and sells them; she supplies the
merchant with sashes.
31:25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the
time to come.
31:26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is
on her tongue.
31:27 She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat
the bread of idleness.
31:28 Her children rise up and call her happy; her husband too, and he
praises her:
31:29 "Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all."
31:30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears
the LORD is to be praised.
31:31 Give her a share in the fruit of her hands, and let her works
praise her in the city gates.
Comments:
I am looking at this text, and my congregation, which tends to be
conservative (another minister in this town spoke of the 1950's
attitude)...
Can this text be used in some meaningful way without re-inforcing
traditional male-female role stereotyping?
peace
kent in Québec
Kent,
If your congregation is open to it, you could honestly talk about how
texts like this one do reflect the culture of the times, and perhaps
reinterpret it for our 21st-century culture. What would the author
have said about a God-fearing career woman had he lived today?
First-time poster, Mark D.
This is an amazing portrayal of a good woman. She has the authority
and the intelligence to make good choices. She is smart and capable
and not valued because of her beauty but because of her compassion.
This is an incredibly positive, non-chauvinistic picture of who God
has created a person, male or female to be.
The fact that there is a passage talking about a virtuous woman is
impressive. We have to remember that this was an extremely
patriarchial society. What does it say to us today that so many verse
would be used to praise this woman? I am going to tackle this passage
in a Baptist church in SC. But our congregation will welcome a good
word! Don in SC
To Kent in Quebeck - of course you can. First challenge the men to be
Prov 31 men: look at verses 1-9, there are some serious requirements
for the man before it begins with the womanly picture of "Christ and
the Bride"... There was no p-31 woman, this was a picture (or a set of
principles) of how a woman CAN live, provided that yher husband
enables her to do so. Hey man, Eph 5:22-33: submit to your husbands
means (respond as unto the lord) to your husbands leadership. The man
has to first sacrifice himself for his wife - and put her first,
including her feelings and opinions - submitting to the authority of
Christ - for the sake of oneness in the relationship. That is what
Christ did for His bride, he was obedient unto death under the will of
His Father in order to have a relationship with us (the bride). We are
called to do no less. Check out 1 Peter 3:7 (treat as the weaker
vessel means (fine china in the original)... Not...as weaker. Instead,
treat them as fellow heirs with Christ. Peter apparently believes that
the "sister/brother" relationship in the Lord is still in effect even
when people get married, instead of annulling the responsibility to do
the one another's, marriage is the place where we should treat our
wives the same - It is after all, the picture of Christ and the Church
(bridegrom and bride) to a lost world. It is where children grow up
and see the "mutual submission" that believers are to have for one
another, and most importantly, and may I say more importantly that
other relationships, the kids learn to see how a man and woman are to
treat one another -- The man submitting to Christ for the sake of
oneness, and the woman "responding in love" as unto the lord to that
man's sacrificial love. Servant leadership - marriage is where it
starts. C'mon you guys.. the KJV has left us with this "submit"
hogwash, and even many of the women buy into it. Just ask yourself
which kind of "slave" do you want.. one under the whip, or one who
responds to your love and does all the p-31 stuff "just to please
you", not because she "has to". Now doesn't that seem more in line
with the rest of the loving "one another" that we are taught. C'mon
now, since when did the marriage relationship get put a step below
other christian relationships - answer, NEVER! At least not by the
lord. paul never intends for the woman to relinquish her freedom in
Christ to a "domanating tyrant male" - Only to "respond to love given
her; to Godly principles. We cannot attain oneness in our marriage as
long as one wants to dominate - i know, you think I mean let the woman
dominate, but I don't. You let Christ dominate YOU - and watch the
woman line up and follow you all the way to the grave, thinking you
are the greatesyt thing since sliced bread. By the way, the P-31 woman
could never have done those things unless she was trusted, released to
do them, instructed in buying and selling; and allowed to be involved
with money matters. You don't get a P-31 woman until you become a P-31
man. (Ideas stolen from the book "Every woman's Desire - by Stoeker)....
Love in Christ, Brent Cain - Discovery Ministries, Hemet California.
No reply necessary
The virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 is the Church, the bride of Christ.
The source of her virtue, wisdom, goodness, strength, wealth, energy,
good works, kindness, vision, resourcefulness, excellence, healing,
teaching, etc. is her husband, the Lord Jesus Christ, the source of
all life and its creativity. Without Him she would not exist. With Him
her capability and creativity, gifts and talents in space and time are
unfathomable and everlasting because they are provided by Him who will
never leave her nor forsake her. Ponder the significance of this for
yourself, compare Scripture to Scripture (remembering that the focus
of all Scripture is Christ) and your message will astound your
hearers. Remember, this message isn't just for married females. The
Bride of Christ is made up of male and female. Your message is to the
Church (beginning with Adam and Eve) and it is one that will leave
them amazed at what God has done in time and space and how he has used
the Church to bless the world. Enjoy your study with this focus. Love
in Christ, Evelyn
Compare this to Samantha on Bewitched ... who in her marriage vows
(and by her choice) is not to use the greatest gift she has in the
interest of serving Darren. The two main people in her life are always
telling her what to do and not do - Endora and Darren, and she's
constantly caught between them.
This Scripture is the opposite Samantha-type housewife. The woman is
to be trusted to use her best abilities and to be strong.
The sheer impossibleness of this laundry list of capable wife's duties
is, in my humble (or is that slothful) opinion, hyperbole, anyhow.
It's not about assigning tasks, but about working for the Lord and
putting his wisdom ahead of ours.
Sally in GA
I am taking on this scripture as a challenge to myself. My
congregation is primarily older widow-ladies. Even though this
scripture was not intended to be an analogy, I wonder if it could not
be read as one. We often refer to the church as the bride of Christ.
Could this scripture not be used as a guide to church membership?
Ruby in Texas
LOL may kid around with the men and say, I am preaching on this one
for you. So, you wife will know what she can do! LOL then say look at
these qualities and actions careful Christ is the bridegroom and
Church is the bride, this is how we ALL MEN AND WOMEN HERE need to be
Clerically Blone in West Ohio
Ruby, that's actually a good idea! It might make a good entrypoint to
a sermon about what we can do for the Lord.
Our UMW has taken some promising initiative lately (at least for them)
and it might make a good way to affirm their initiative (though I've
thanked them publicly during worship).
I wonder if the children rising up and calling her "blessed" were
teenagers?
Sally in GA
From a husband's perspective, no one woman can DO all fo these things
but any woman can BE many of these things, especially the one in
particular that I watch through the eyes of my love for her. If more
men were more willing to do proclaim verses 28-31, they might suddenly
realize what they have been given a chance to share. Ramblings about
some of my favorite verses. Mike from Soddy Daisy, TN
It reminds me of Brother Lawrence, the monk whose job it was to wash
dishes. In the dark kitchen, he joyously got those plates scrubbed,
thanking God for the opportunity to serve, to sing praises while he
worked, etc. It's all about attitude and serving the ones (The One)
you love with love. It matters not what the job is, it's the way we
approach the work.
This is one confident, no-nonsense woman who is nobody's pawn. She can
do business, she can run a home, she can teach, she can make
decisions..... she's the original superwoman. Her might comes from her
knowledge of who she is and what she is called to be. She is respected
and she is loved. What more, really, could a woman (or anyone) ask
for?
One of my favorite passages, too. Didn't used to be, because I read it
as a Job Jar list of what was expected of women. Now I see it
differently.
KyHoosierCat
There is a woman in North Carolina, Marla Cilley, who is the "Flylady"
(www.flylady.net) Her mission in life is to get people to stop seeing
daily household chores as drudgery and to start seeing them in a new
light. She tolerates no whining about how hard the work is, that you
get no help from anybody else, that the tasks are overwhelming. She
considers housework "Blessing your home". She instructs FlyBabies to
get out the clutter in your home, keep what makes you happy or has a
use to you, fling out everything that keeps you trapped in clutter.
The point is that the more things in our homes we have to deal with,
the less energy we will have for the really important things - like
people.
Can the concept work elsewhere in our lives? No whining, clear out the
unnecessary clutter, see all work as a blessing, put your efforts into
people .......a model for our approach to service?
KHC
HoosierCat -
Hmmm ... your postings have got me to thinking ... and maybe you can
help me think this through a bit. I'm not CERTAIN I'll preach on this,
but I'm giving it a good hard look.
I don't want to air ALL our church's dirty laundry, but you all know
we're faced with a generation issue and a racial issue (mostly white,
older, and mostly women in a growing mostly African American, younger,
family area). One of the 4 men who come to worship (yeah, only 4) is
kind of a negative cuss on top of it all, and his voice carries a lot
of weight. So, when he says something negative, it really tends to
cast a pall over the whole mood.
Well, the latest thing he's been feeling victimized over is the
start-up of a new UM church in the area. He thinks the conference
should "help out" the existing churches. Yet, he's come right out and
said that while he'll be friendly to black folks when they visit, he's
not going to invite any in.
Frankly, I see this as a victimized "welfare" mindset. In other words,
he wants the conference to somehow fund these dying ministries but
doesn't want to put for the effort necessary to minister in the
neighborhood.
I don't want to pick on him or even this particular issue, of course,
but he's simply giving voice to an attitude that runs strongly in the
undercurrent of our church dynamics. I'd like to address that
undercurrent - the belief that they're in the church to be taken care
of - and keep it positive and encouraging.
It's why I'd like to spend some time praising our UMW for their
initiative (which I've already done at one of the meetings and during
the announcement time before worship).
Any ideas on how to "frame" the message?
Sally in GA
Sally,
Well, sure we're in the church to be taken care of! We walk in, shake
a few hands, sit down, read a few things responsively, sing a few
hymns while another person takes care of all the hard parts, we get
up, we shake a few hands, mumble something about a nice service and we
go home! With very little effort on our part, we have heard the Word,
praised God, seen our friends and done our duty.
What we fail to understand is that we do all this IN ORDER TO to be
equipped to walk out the door and apply the Word, our praises, our
fellowship and our Christian life to our everyday lives in the world.
One of my main "arguments" with the new trend in Christianity is its
emphasis on ME. I love God. God saved me. I'm going to heaven. Jesus
is my Lord. God helps me. It becomes all-consuming with little concern
for how all this impacts the Gospel message to go and serve. It is
incredibly self-centered, in my opinion - which has been known to be
wrong - and it is very much concerned with how the worshipper feels
during the service. If it felt good, if it was uplifting, it was good
worship.
From your post, Sally, I see that this is not an entirely new
phenomenon. Apparently, there are those in the Church who have a long
history of believing the goal of the church is to make them feel good,
at ease, like all is right with the world.
Your church may have a history, too, of having one old coot (or
cootette) who has set the agenda for the attitudes of the church.
Nobody faced that person down. It becomes "one person=12 votes". Your
current old coot is continuing to keep the church a place of easy and
comfortable participation without a thought to how the Word calls us
away from that. They may need some education on the 7 Great Ends of
the Church which spell out the point of our existence.
Well, Sally, after re-reading what I just wrote, I can see I have
nothing of substance to offer you, for which I am sorry. But I am
submitting it anyway.
KHC
The Great Ends of the Church
The great ends of the Church are the proclamation of the gospel for
the salvation of humankind; the shelter, nurture and spiritual
fellowship of the children of God; the maintenance of divine worship;
the preservation of the truth; the promotion of social righteousness;
and the exhibition of the Kingdom of Heaven to the world.
Book of Order- the Constitution of the Presbyterian Church (USA) -
Form of Government G-1.0200. I'm certain other denominations utilize
these, as well.
KHC
The good wife portrayed in these verses provides a view of someone who
is equally diligent in household matters as well as those of the
commercial arena. Not only does she care for the needs of her family,
but she also reaches out to the poor.
The book of Proverbs begins with a description of Wisdom in the midst
of the bustle of life...and with this passage, the book also ends with
a descriptions of Wisdom in the thick of things. In the first chapter
of Proverbs, we are challenged to listen to Wisdom and here we are
challenged to live like Wisdom. Wisdom is kindness, generosity, and
dignity. How is the way of Wisdom like the way Jesus calls his
followers to be in welcoming the little ones?
KHC -
I get so much from your posts, so whether or not you believe it has
"substance," it's nice to have a sympathetic ear! I feel like I have a
new friend.
Can I have your email address? (mine kind of reveals who I am, so I
hesitate to broadcast it here, even though I have a hunch that other
lurkers know who I am simply by first name and location)
Sally in GA
I just got our denominations regular newsletter, in which our PC(USA)
Moderator, the Rev. Susan R. Andrews, shares a sermon she preached.
(non-copyrighted material).
She opens with a quote from Dr. Suess's "The Butter Battle Book"
regarding the Yooks and the Zooks and how the issue of which side of
the bread to butter has caused escalating conflict.
She closes with this:
"A few years ago, I read a news story set in the vast continent of
Africa. A journalist was covering one of the many civil wars that seem
to plague this developing wonderland, and he was touched by the
witness of some very wise women. At the border of these two warring
countries, he saw a fence. And lined up on each side was a group of
nursing mothers. Defying all the hatred and bloodshed that their
tribal identities called for, these women were exchanging their babies
over the fence, nursing each other's children with milk..... They were
breaking down the dividing wall of hostility with the gift of their
human bodies."
____________________________________________________
In the light of Jesus Christ, is there any greater wisdom than what is
shown here? Conflict happens. Wisdom goes wanting. But the brave and
wise few can reach over the dividing wall and find a common ground
that serves the needs of everyone. And, in light of this particular
Proverb, isn't it fitting that it was women who paved the way????
Just thought I'd share this.
KHC
Hi, Sally,
My e-mail address is, of all things, kyhoosiercat@hotmail.com
Write anytime, new friend.
I was kind of dreading this week's scripture, the church i serve is a
strange mix of theologically conservative men and women, and socially
"liberal" men and women. We actually get along remarkably well, but i
was affraid this passage could be an opportunity to tick all of them
off in one fell swoop :-)
Like many of you i don't see this as a "job list" for a good woman. I
actually read a book this week that used prov 31 to say if a woman
couldn't cook and clean her home she was falling short of God's will.
I'm not there - if i had a bra i guess this is where i would burn it
(images of the manzeer from signfeild)
I wish we included the first part of the chapter in this. It begins
with this picture of King Lemuel's mom teaching him a lesson he needs
to know when he's king. "look out for 'those' women". As many of you
noted in this culture there were few ways for women to get ahead and
one of them was to marry a man of welth or power. I'm pretty secure in
saying that marrying for money is a bad idea. If i have to take on the
responsabilities of a marriage whatever the culture defines them as
just to get a cash pay out - it better be a big pay out. BUT if i
enter into this relationship in love the fufilling of those
responsabilities is a reflection of that relationship of love. now the
connection to the Bride and Christ. Are we the bride looking for the
cash pay out in the end, or are we the bride that wells up with tears
of joy as we recite our vows?
I think my sermon title this week is "Sorry, that wedding gift is not
worth it"
Mark in SW Wa
